Dreaming of a deceased loved one in Buddhism: meaning
In many Buddhist traditions the living can still do something for their departed loved ones: dedicate merit to them. A dream about a deceased person is therefore often read as an invitation to remember them and wish them well.
Within this tradition
In the Theravada tradition, as in Thailand and Sri Lanka, it is customary to dedicate merit to deceased relatives. Someone who does something good, such as giving food to monks or a gift to someone in need, dedicates the merit of it to the deceased. The Tirokudda Sutta describes departed relatives waiting by the walls and gates of their former home, who benefit from what the living give in their name.
In the Mahayana tradition the Ullambana festival, Obon in Japan, is a well-known time to remember the dead. It goes back to the story of Maudgalyayana, a disciple of the Buddha who wanted to help his deceased mother. In Tibetan Buddhism the bardo, the intermediate state after death, lasts up to forty-nine days according to tradition, a period in which prayers are said for the deceased.
In that world a dream about a deceased person is read as a sign of connection. A deceased person who seems restless or hungry is often linked with a need for remembrance and merit. A calm appearance as a sign that all is well.
At the same time Buddhism stays sober: the Milindapañha names habit and memory as causes of dreams. Those who grieve often dream of whom they miss. Compassion, for the deceased and for yourself, is the answer in both cases.
Common variations
A deceased person who is hungry or thirsty
Often read as a need for remembrance. Many Buddhists then dedicate merit, for example through a gift.
A calm, friendly appearance
A sign that all is well, or of connection that remains.
A dream in the weeks after the death
In the Tibetan tradition the period of the bardo, in which prayers are said for the deceased.
The same deceased person again and again
Often grief that is not yet finished. Compassion for yourself belongs there just as much.
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Write your dream in the appFrequently asked questions
What does dedicating merit mean?
Doing something good, such as a gift or giving food to monks, and wishing the good of it to a departed loved one. In many Buddhist countries it is a customary way of remembering.
What is the bardo?
In Tibetan Buddhism, the intermediate state after death, which according to tradition lasts up to forty-nine days.